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You better watch out
NOT EXACTLY EH-RELATED Date created: Unknown... presumably around Christmas 2012 ''Status: SCENE. Simply a random idea I had lol. '' ''Though I seriously imagine Kyle as the kid and Akzetah as the mom here (though she isn't technically his mom). '' "Mom, I... told my friend that... that I didn't believe in Santa. And he started laughing at me! I don't know what to think now..." "Oh? And why don't you believe in him love?" "Well, a few reasons... One; he's been around for hundreds of years, he'd be super old by now. Two; he can't get around the whole world in one night, can he? In Geography we were taught there's 7 continents and most of those stretch for miles and miles, and millions, even billions of people live in each one... That's what made me question it..." He glares at her. "Ah I see," she smiles. "D'you wanna know the big secret?... There's more than one Santa Claus. Any child smart enough, like you, would know it's simply impossible to deliver presents to every house in the world in one night." He looks more confused, "But, how come no one's ever seen him? Or THEM?" She laughs, "What do you mean? We passed at least 3 in the mall today!" "I know they're fakes... They have fake beards and laughs and everything" "Nooooo," she lifts him onto her lap. "They ARE the Santa Claus'. Why don't I just explain it all to you hm? You were bound to figure it out one day, weren't you?" she winks, her cheeks now glowing. "But wont that ruin everything?" "Of course not love. It'll make it even more special... Just you listen; Many many years ago, there was a man who loved children. He also loved God and was a dedicated Christian his whole life. He believed Jesus' birthday was special, and that is was to be celebrated by everyone. For Jesus was an incredible man, who sacrificed himself for his people; his friends, his followers and-" "I know I know! He laughs, "Get to the Santa parts!" She rolls her eyes, "Alright then... So, this man decided to give gifts to everyone who visited the local church." "Where? What Church?" "I have no idea love! It could have been anywhere in the world. Anyway, he loved the feeling of giving so much, he decided to give everyone in his town a gift." "Even the non-Christians?" "Um, no love. Not at the time anyway, some people don't actually celebrate Christmas, you know. There's loads of other ways people express their love and thankfulness to their god." "What does God have to do with Christmas?" She slaps her face, "Well, he's Jesus' father." "Soo... The man you're talking about who gave presents out, was just some Jesus obsessed pedophile? Now we call him Santa?" She widens her eyes, "Where have you even heard-How did you know-???" she sighs, "Never mind. And never use that word, especially when you... Do you know what it means?" "Err, it means they love kids?" he smiles, crookedly. "It's a bit worse than that love... See, you've distracted me again! Now just be quiet please... This man was certainly not what you just said, and he loved children. I bet he wanted to adopt all the homeless ones and protect them from all evil." "But he can't be bothered so he just gives them useless presents?" She frowns, "Alright. No more story. Get to sleep you little smarty pants." "Mooom!" he laughs, "OK OK I won't butt in! I promise..." "Fine... I'll start again, shall I? So once upon a time there was a lovely, kind man who loved God and felt his son's birthday should be appreciated more. For Jesus was the one who brought God's messages to our world and made us all happier, more loving people and so forth. So, seeing how happy people were to receive a gift from a stranger, he decided that was the best way to get the message across. Instead of Jesus getting presents, because he's obviously passed away now, people would give each other presents in his name. But the man thought something was missing. Simply exchanging gifts wasn't magic enough. So HE collected the gifts and delivered them to whoever they were for! But the best part was; he was never seen and never got caught. The children were fascinated when presents appeared out of nowhere one Christmas morning. Of course, presents back then were simply food, not toys. Things like sweets and fruits. "Well, this magical man that brought presents to the whole town in one night, soon caught on. Everyone wanted gifts from him. He knew it would be far too much to handle, so he recruited a man, similar to him, in every town to deliver presents. The moment his name 'Nicolas' was rumored, people were calling him a saint. As you do when strangers give you free food. He started getting letters sent to him, asking for all sorts of silly things; clothes, pets, money. He thought it was utter madness that people were so greedy. All he ever wanted to do was spread some happiness, instead he'd created a materialistic society. You see love, many people were poor back then, in whatever AD... They loved this man simply because he'd give them anything they wanted. Where was he getting the money from? No one knows. It's said he had 3 jobs to pay for it all. He soon spread the cost though, and the work load, getting all the other Santas, in every town, to pitch in and help him out when they could. To make it easier, the Santas started showing themselves, and even charged people to see them, so they could tell them what they wanted for Christmas. That way, the Santas got the money for the items and the people got what they wanted. Of course, they'd have to take their names and addresses wouldn't they?" The boy cocks his eyebrow at her "You're making this up as you go, aren't you mom?..." "No no! I'm trying to remember everything... It's such a long story you know. They should make it a book, would be so much easier." "So, it continued, more or less the same way for years and years after that. But of course, Nicolas was already old. He sadly passed away eventually." "Santa's dead?! This is such a wonderful story MOM," he rolls his eyes. "Well, you said yourself he'd be very old now. So another man, from another town was promoted, to be in charge of everything. So whenever a boss Santa dies, his apprentice takes over. Or whatever... "Now, modern Santas are quite different. Especially now that people are asking for all sorts of crazy, expensive things. So, here's another big secret love; parents have to pay for your presents." "I knew it! That's why all parents are broke after Christmas. And always say 'Santa can't afford that', he laughs. "Indeed... So here's how it works NOW. Today. That story's a LOT fresher in my mind! "On January 1st every year all the Santa's get together and start planning that years Christmas. Now they're not working alone; they have hundreds, even millions, of highly qualified elves!" "Qualified?" "Yes! They're top engineers. Most people who say they're engineers are actually working for Santa. Making all the toys by hand. They don't order them from somewhere you know, they make them all themselves. I imagine Santas factory is like that place that makes them cellular phones. Full of high tech machines and people working non stop to-" "How would they know what the kids want? If it's after Christmas and nowhere near the next Christmas. The 'other Santas' that ask what you what want don't even appear until, like, November." She ignores him, "Most of the elves are dwarfs yes, but most are average height. So I'm not sure where the idea of elves being dwarfs comes from. And even THEY help deliver presents! So there's surely millions of elves and Santas delivering things all night long!" The boy looks bored now, "And no one's never EVER seen ANY of them??" "No! Because, um, they use magical dust that... Makes... Them invisible? Oh and the 'flying sleigh' everyone talks about, well, it's actually a plane that flies around the world to keep the magic alive. Planes are so fast you see, you can travel the world in one night these days, it's so amazing!-" "Which no one has EVER seen!!" "But that's the magic of it all love! It's all so vague and mysterious, isn't it?" she smiles, hopefully. The boy stares at his mom, his eyelids drooped over his eyes, mouth scrunched to the side. "................................................... There's no Santa Claus, is there?" "No," she chirps. Category:Practice episodez